ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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