Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i came on her dog
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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