She's JV to your varsity
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize