Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
smell my finger.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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