He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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