took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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