Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
