I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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