His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Boobs speak an international language.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize