She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
