the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
