Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
