Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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