She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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