Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
