Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
