Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize