im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
organizing the empties. That sober.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
