Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
