I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
