I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
