Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
