I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
