3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize