The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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