and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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