everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Are my feet made of real feet?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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