i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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