it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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