your thong is hanging out like whoa
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
