if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
