she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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