Don't you send me to vm
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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