so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
