You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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