I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
