was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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