porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
