What did we do last night that was yellow?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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