you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
