i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
