Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
