Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
