it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
