she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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