im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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