I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
