is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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