Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
