he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
