I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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