Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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