i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Its about making memories worth repressing
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
