you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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