I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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