Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Fuck appropriateness.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
