they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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