i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
