The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
