they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize